I wrote the following a few weeks after Alex's passing. Alex had battled with what we eventually discovered to be a metatastic bladder cancer that ultimately prevented Alex from being able to urinate on his own. Our Veterinarian, Dr. John Hammons, and all of his staff, as well Alex's Veterinary Surgeon / Oncologist, Dr. Michael Newman, and his staff were so kind and supportive through all that we went through I will never be able to adequately express our gratitude. Johnnie, a super-cool Veterinary Technician at Dr. Hammon's office even taught us to catheterize Alex so we could do that at home and save Alex from having to make daily trips to the Veterinary Hospital for that procedure. We are truly grateful for their support.
BT is my husband. Zola was our other older dog who passed away in January of 2001.
Gordon is a new family member of ours. He is a wonderful mixed-breed dog who joined our family in February 2001 after the loss of our oldest dog, Zola, in January 2001 -- thanks Karmyn!!!
We added a new family member, another mixed-breed dog, Ziggy, after Alex's passing in late June 2001. Gordon kind of picked Ziggy out himself, and they are a very tight pair!
For some reason it has been much harder for me to write about Alex than it was to write about Zola... (maybe since Zola had health problems that had been apparent for longer, we had more time to work towards accepting that her time with us was coming to an end?).
Letting go of Alex was very, very difficult for me. I think that Alex was much more ready to go than I was ready for him to go. In some ways I think he sensed that and tried to stick around a bit to give us more time to adjust. Well that was Alex! Alex was the most patient, kind, gentle soul I have ever known, and probably ever will. I am so grateful to have had him in my life; he certainly made my life richer.
I am glad that he is out of the pain and discomfort he was in at the end of his life. He would try to cover things like that, and most of the time, even if you knew things were bad for him, he’d be trying to shine through with a smile. I wish I could be as strong and patient as he was; I learned a lot from him, but I don’t think I’ll ever be able to apply it to the degree that he could. Obviously, though, things were getting more difficult for Alex towards the end. After a veterinary surgeon/oncologist saw at Alex's last surgery that there was nothing more that could be done to improve Alex’s quality of life, we decided that at the next downturn in Alex’s condition, it would be time to let him go. We were so grateful that the Saturday after that last surgery, Alex was able to urinate again! Alex's surgeon said he’d given Alex prednisone in hopes of helping out with that, but since it hadn’t happened by the time he was released from the hospital Friday, June 15, we didn’t have hope that it would... But it did work! Alex didn’t have much control over it, but it made him happy just the same! He was leaking in enough volume that we didn’t catheterize him that Saturday night or Sunday morning (you know he had to like that!!!). And Alex’s appetite was up, too! He was hungry for everything, and we tried to accommodate him! We were trying to balance not upsetting his tummy but trying to take advantage of his increased appetite. It was so wonderful to see him enthusiastically eating!
Unfortunately, by mid-morning that Sunday, he could not urinate on his own again. He still had a good day, though. He seemed to be feeling good enough that we took him down by the river and laid with him in the sun all day. By that Monday, however, Alex did not seem to be doing quite as well. He was still drinking water, but it must not have been in significant volume at all, since he had almost no urine in him. His appetite was down again, too. We were trying to coax him with whatever foods would appeal; we did get him to eat a bit, but he wasn’t able to keep food down too well. We decided that evening that it was pretty much time... We took a futon mattress out on the screened porch that evening, and laid with Alex and talked with him, pet him, and played music for him. I think all in all it was harder for us than it was for Alex...
Growing up, my family had several dogs, a few that meant very much to me. We didn’t have a fenced yard when I was younger, and I don’t remember any dog living past about 6 years old -- eventually they’d get run over by a car; that’s just how it was then... Zola and Alex were the first dogs I had on my own as an adult. Before I ever got Zola, I decided that if it was within my power, my dogs would not meet the same fate as those I had grown up around. Well, by the grace of God we were able to insure that. I guess, though, some irrational part of my mind thought that meant my dogs would live forever. In reality I knew that wasn’t the case, but it was very difficult to see them go through aging and experience age-related diseases and illnesses. That was new territory for me, and for that reason, extremely difficult. But that is life, and I know they had good lives, and hope I will get to see them again someday.
I am so grateful I got to have Alex in my life. I am grateful that Gordon came into our lives when he did, and helped to perk Alex up -- it was so cool to see him playful and enthusiastic again there for a while.
I could go on and on with stories of what a good guy Alex was...
but I think I’ll relay one of Alex’s rare impish times...
Several years ago, the fence around our yard was not finished all the way -- there was temporary fence up in the unfinished places, but it wasn’t stretched tightly, such that if somebody really wanted to, they could work their way under it. No one did for a few months, though (and gee, you’d think if someone did, it would have been Zola - much more in character for her!!!). Well, Alex started getting out -- and discovered a wonderful place -- my neighbor down the road, Barbara’s house. Barbara and Buddy had several very good-natured dogs, plenty of dog food, a dog door, and furniture that dogs were allowed up on! It got to the point that when I got home from work, I’d see Zola in the yard, but no Alex, and I just knew -- go down and get him from Barbara’s house!!! One night, walking towards Barbara’s house and very frustrated about it, calling for Alex, I heard rustling leaves in the woods down below the road. I thought it must be Alex heading home, so I started back for home. When I got to the fence, there were Zola AND Alex! Alex seemed to be saying,
"Gee, Mom, what’s the problem? I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’ve been here the whole time..."
J
He’d sneaked past me and squeezed back into the fence -- what an actor! It makes me smile to think back on that time!
Alex was a patient and gentle teacher with our new dog, Gordon. Gordon has had only one accident in the house since coming to live with us; I’d have to credit Alex more for that than our training. Alex taught Gordon very well by example. It’s funny, too -- to show you how long it had been since we'd had a young puppy when we adopted Gordon -- it took Gordon a week to figure out the dog door. We were happy with that, and were keeping him outside while we were at work during the day (worked out great for Alex, he could still get in and have peace from the puppy), but I was thinking
"oh, it won't be a big deal if Gordon figures it out and gets in; how much could he really get into?".
HAHAHA! He did figure it out -- we knew that the day we came home to find all our houseplants unpotted and an impressively even 1.5 inch layer of potting soil on the living room floor....
I think our fussing at Gordon over that bothered Alex more than it did Gordon! We’re very grateful to have Gordon around right now. As our neighbor Barbara said shortly after Alex's passing:
"It's impossible to stay down very long around such an exuberant guy!"
Alex is buried under the same dogwood tree we buried Zola under (but not too close -- he wouldn’t want that!).
We put him in a spot covered with daylilies; he used to love to tromp the daylilies down in that spot and lay on them. We wrapped him in a fuzzy blanket (Alex loved soft fuzzy things!) and put in a copy of Rainbow Bridge with some notes from us to him on it. He was a wonderful guy -- we miss him a lot. But he’s in a better place, and we’ll see him there someday, exuberant, happy, and pain-free. Alex was a very special soul in the time he shared with us.
Alex is an angel now -- for him, that wasn’t a very long journey to make...